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Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.
1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes
2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.
3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes
5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.
6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever
7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes
9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.
10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes
11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
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12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.
13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”
16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
Slot Machine Funny Pictures Funny
“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”
17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”
The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”
The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.
“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.
The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”
“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.
“Like what?” asked the bartender.
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.
The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.
“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes
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Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com
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Table Of Contents
- Ordinary titles are interesting, but adult Slots take the game a step further
- Adult slots are 'sexy games' where the graphics are….a bit unusual.
Picking a new favorite from a myriad of online Slots is an exciting process.
To compile this article, I have gathered a more exotic list of titles to give you an alternative to traditional online Casino Slots. They are a bit out of the ordinary as they add a bit of 'extra spice' to the games by placing on the reels something that isn't available in your regular slots.
Wasting no more time, let's dive in this sexy Slots review now.
Adult Slots List: Cleopatra 18+
Cleopatra 18+ comes from MrSlotty and brings a 5-reel, 20-payline Slot to your attention.
The game has an added tempting element, as Cleopatra reveals far more than we're used to see in slots.
Oh, there are some ancient Egyptian erotic scenes around her.
The minimum bet sits at 0.02, with a maximum one of 10.00. There is a Free Spins possibility, a Sphinx Scatter, the Eye of Ra as the highest-value tile, some beetles and lotuses, and Cleopatra herself as the Wild.
Hot Honey 22
Beautiful tattooed women are an honest weakness of mine, so that's Hot Honey 22 ranks high on the Adult Slots table.
Again coming from MrSlotty, this sexy slot machine features different body parts as valuable symbols. Playing it feels a bit like solving a puzzle – and the prize is a beautiful image to gaze upon.
5 reels, 25 paylines, a Free Spins options, a Scatter, and a Gamble feature form the 'boring' aspects of the Slot. Everything else is an uplifting search for the perfect tattoo sequence.
Hot Honey 22 VIP
An upgraded version of the previous MrSlotty title, the Hot Honey 22 VIP doesn't offer a lot more, as the structure and symbols remain the same. As far as I see, the added VIP tag serves just to target High Roller players.
Nevertheless, sexy Slots don't come any better than this, so I don't mind launching the VIP version, too.
Diner of Fortune
Going back to the 1950s, players enter an enhanced pin-up diner to try their luck. Aside from the expected food symbols, you will strive to match stacked reels of sexy waitresses all over the Slot machines.
This Slot machine video game by Spinomenal gets you 5 reels, 15 fixed paylines, a minimum bet of 0.15, and a maximum of 150.
There are Wilds, Scatters, Free Spins, and a portion of low-value symbols to combine on your way to feeding that adult Slots hunger.
Live Slot
Soothing lounge music accompanies six different impulse-provoking ladies. Five of them form the high-value symbols, while the sixth is placed among the low-value symbols. (which doesn't make sense to me, but hey, who am I to judge?)
Spinomenal is the creator of this one, too – 5 reels, 3 rows, and 15 paylines to maximize your winnings while looking at well-drawn pictures of Slot beauties.
There are also Wilds and Scatters to comfort you even when you miss the real-deal combos.
9 Figures Club
Yet another Spinomenal title, 9 Figures Club switches things a bit.
While many other adult Slots bet on sexy symbols for their main attraction, this one only shows them as Wilds and Scatters.
All other tiles are filled with High Roller lifestyle items – watches, cars, bags of cash, planes, yachts, and more.
It is a standard 5x3 online Slot, with 5 paylines going both ways – you can win by combining symbols from left to right and vice-versa.
Booming Gold
A Wild-reel Slot by Booming Games, with 5 reels and 20 paylines to get you going. The sexy online gaming here is rather simplified, as the adult element is presented by a girl in a yellow bathing suit and a woman's smile with grillz.
There are some flashy low-value symbols and the 4th reel is always Wild, except for when Scatters decide to join the party.
Devil's Heat
Femme Fatales and sexy nerdy chicks are the main views in this Booming Games title. There are two interacting symbols available, which award a special bonus if aligned properly.
Funny Slot Machine Memes
The one thing that made me lift my eyebrow? The male symbol looks a lot like Antonio Banderas, but I guess this is intentional.
Aside from that, you get a wink from any of the tempting girls when you hit a combo with them.
Golden Girls
Apparently, Booming Games have a strong adult Slots side. Golden Girls presents a 5 reel, 25 payline game to hit the beach with a great company.
Flip-flops, surfboards, Wilds, Scatters, and three inviting ladies are pretty much all you need for a sexy Slot session. If you've ever seen it live, I suggest rethinking whether you even need to spin the reels.
Jetsetter
Jetsetter comes from the hands of Endorphina. Which should be enough to spark the interest of adult Slots enthusiasts.
5 reels, 20 paylines, and the main sexy symbol in the image of a blonde holding a dollar bill. Whenever you manage to combo her in a winning line, she multiplies the bill and spreads a money-fan. Oh yes, and all the bills have her face on them, too.
Twerk
Endorphina also created a fant-ass-tick 3x3 Slot game – yes, the variance is high, but winning combinations literally twerk before your eyes.
Not the most consistent Slot to play, but it's definitely done masterfully. And with a maximum win of 250,000 coins, who actually needs to hit it every five spins, eh?
I didn't include the Cherry Love Slot, but I think those are enough for now.
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